to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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