So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
