oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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