Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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