There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
