What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize