that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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