I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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