we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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