Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
