So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
