i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
