the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
