I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we should paint friendship bongs
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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