Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
