So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
