..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
