The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize