call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
