you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
