We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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