when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
