I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
