yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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