Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
