I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
