I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Green mimosas i think yes
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
