If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
oh god the rape fog is back!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
