and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
