You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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