I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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