Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
