dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
