is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
