Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
