lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hippo gnu deer
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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