How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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