How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i drank out of a bidet.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
