Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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