Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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