I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
