Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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