I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
