it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize
