If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
