it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
