at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize
