In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
