I forgot how hot balto sounded
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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