8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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