is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
