you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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