Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
