You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
