:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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