What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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