definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize