he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
