my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
