: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
