EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
