singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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