she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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