Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
