i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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