we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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