That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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