So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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