She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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