I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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