I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
organizing the empties. That sober.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
